i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
