if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
