Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
