So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he shaved USA in his pubs
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
