It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
