it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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