I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
