I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
