PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
