Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
