This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
wow bdsm is so cute
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