i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
