They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
