Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
