No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
