There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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