There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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