You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
