I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
