he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Drunk is not a location!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
