Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm really busy with my period
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