He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
