it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
