he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
