Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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