I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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