I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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