And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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