I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
