My girlfriend figured out who you are.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
