why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
