why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
