So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
tell me about the eggs
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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