I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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