I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
