i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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