you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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