How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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