He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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