This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
