I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
