alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
