you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
