So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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