What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
