I wish I could punch you in the face.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
