PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
