I can text with my tongue
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
