I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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