i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
