The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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